Shower Techniques

ok,
sorry i haven't written in awhile, i just feel there is nothing interesting in my life these days. i could tell you about the stories of different people with amazingly disgusting teeth that come into my office, or tell you about how my husband uses the space in between his teeth as the perfect home for a straw, but you dont care about that do you?

for those of you who know me, this may come as a shock. i have been sneezing my head off for a couple of days now. today i woke up to my right eye being swollen and i am very tired. so, my cold season has officially begun and will last until usually end of March only to come back mid-April for the spring allergies. does anyone else sneeze as much as i do? everytime i go into one of my fits that has 10-12 sneezes, Ash is like "Mere--quit doing that!". um, ok Ashley. make your tooth grow back. you cant right?? neither can i!!! geez. men.

saw that movie "in her shoes" with Kandace the other night. great movie, great company, and a fun girls night out. we ate 2 baskets of chips at chili's before the movie. for those of you who havent seen it, cameron diaz and her bottom are shown frequently throughout the movie. halfway through it, kandace goes "i wish i looked like her." kandace is almost 6 feet tall, long flowing blond hair, gorgeous figure and face, and has the most amazing personality ever. i wanted to throw my popcorn tub on her head. she would have looked gorgeous with popcorn in her head anyway. good friends are few and far between, and i know we are so thankful for the good girlfriends we have in our lives.

quick palmer (my adorable nephew) story. kim said he picked up a picture of me and said " i love Aunt Mere." and hugged the frame!!!! are you serious!! how freakin cute is that!!!!!


ok, well i have to go back to bed because my head feels like it is going to explode from all the snot in it, but before i go i want you to read this email ash sent me about the differences in men's and women's shower techniques and let me know if this is true for you. it is for me.

love to all.

> *How To Shower Like a Woman: > >
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to >lights and darks. > >
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. >
>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. >
>Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more >sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. >
>Get in the shower. >
>Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice >stone. >
>Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. >
>Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. >
>Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. >
>Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. >
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. >
>Rinse conditioner off hair. >
>Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. > >! Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. >
>Spray mold spots with Tilex. >
>Get out of shower. >
>Dry with towel the size of a small country. > >Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. >
>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. >
>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. > >

>*How To Shower Like a Man: >
>Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a >pile. >
>Walk naked to the bathroom. >
>If you ! see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. >
>Look at your manly physique in the mirror. >
>Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. >
>Get in the shower. > >Wash your face. > >Wash your armpits. >
>Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. >
>Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. >
>Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. >
>Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. >
> Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. >
>Pee. >
>Rinse off and get out of shower. > >Partially dry off. >
>Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the >whole time. >
>Admire wiener size in mirror again. >
>Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. >
>Return to bedroom with towel around waist. >
>If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again. >
>Throw wet towel on bed. >
>If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you. >Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!! >